Maa Ka Laadla: Batteries Included, Maturity Sold Separately

His mother still thinks he’s a baby.And to be fair… so does his behaviour.

Clothes? Scattered like it's Holi.Towel? On the bed, like a dead body.Fridge? He opens it every 5 minutes like Netflix dropped snacks.

He has two moods when it comes to food:

1. I’m on a clean diet, only quinoa and air

2. Let’s order 3 pizzas and cry watching Shark Tank.

His mental stability?More unpredictable than Delhi weather.One minute he’s singing old Bollywood songs, the next he’s offended because I finished the last biscuit.

Now, his mom still treats him like a delicate cupcake:“Beta, thak gaya na?”“Beta, I’ll pick your plate.”“Beta, don't do anything at all — your wife will do it.”

ME?I’m expected to fold his clothes, wash his plate, laugh at his jokes, raise his child, raise him again, AND be in the mood.

Excuse me aunty —I married a husband, not adopted a toddler with Wi-Fi.

Sometimes I think I’m not his wife…I’m the Google Assistant of the house:“Where’s my charger?”“What’s for lunch?”“Have you seen my socks?”“Babe, where’s my will to live?”

And the cherry on top?His sex drive is like Swiggy delivery. Anytime, anywhere.Meanwhile, I’m one unpaid bill away from a full-blown meltdown.

But what does mummyji want from me after 15 years?She still expects me to:

• Wake up before the sun

• Dress like I’m going to meet Modi ji

• Make 3 types of parathas

• And NEVER express an opinion unless it's about soap brands

I want to talk politics, F1, cricket stats, world economics.But instead, I get:

• “Kitty party mein kya pehna?”

• “Tumhare bacche ne tablet kitni der use kiya?”

• “Suno, Sharma aunty ki bahu ne weight lose kar liya!”

Aunty, mujhe Sharma aunty ki bahu nahi banna —Mujhe khud banna hai.

So here’s my humble request to society:

Let Maa ka laadla be a laadla in your heart,But in real life, let him pick his own underwear,load the dishwasher,respect my opinions,and stop expecting a mother in the bedroom.

Because baby,I’m not his maa,I’m his WIFE — with a brain, a backbone……and a burner account where I order fries, lingerie, and freedom.

Now fold your own damn towel, Raja Babu.This kingdom has new rules.